Last night I found you at the watering hole
With your car keys danglin' near the dancer's pole
You were two shots shy of your regular dose
So I knew that you were somewhere, knew that you were close
You were tellin' all the girls as you swaggered in
Let's go out for a moonlight spin
Ain't nothin' better on a Saturday night
Then drivin' down the highway with no headlights

Slam dunk, you're drunk!
Mama's little man's gone and done it again
Slam bang, thank you ma'am!
I knew you never knew when to say when
You were ALL TANKED UP with nowhere to go

You see, Last week the sheriff saw you weaving along
With a quart of White Lightnin' that was nearly gone
When you stepped outside at the man's request
You couldn't find your license so he gave you a test
He said, "Son, walk the line, close your eyes, touch your nose."
You did your best, but you weren't even close
As a last resort, just to kill time
You took out runnin' for the county line

Slam dunk, you're drunk!
Mama's little man's gone and done it again
Slam bang, thank you ma'am!
I knew you never knew when to say when
You were ALL TANKED UP with nowhere to go

ALL TANKED UP with nowhere to go
If I were you I'd be keepin' kinda low
Three strikes you're out and you ain't even at bat
Sometimes I wonder if you really know where you're at

Slam dunk, you're drunk!
Mama's little man's gone and done it again
Slam bang, thank you ma'am!
I knew you never knew when to say when
I bet you never thought you'd get caught again
This time baby, it's really the end

Slam dunk, you're drunk!
Mama's little man's gone and done it again
Slam bang, thank you ma'am!
I knew you never knew when to say when
You were ALL TANKED UP with nowhere to go